I Love You & Goodbye
by Sage Sabotage
Summary: A bitter laugh escaped my throat as I walked away heading towards the village gates to a mission that would conveniently kill me. I can't live without her. I can't live knowing it was supposed to be me with her if I didn't hurt her.


**I Love You & Goodbye  
**

**Author's Note:**

This is an intended SasuSaku but it focuses more on KakaSaku or what it used to be. Some people may not like what it contains therefore consider this a warning. There is an implication of suicide. It does not contain lemons of whatsoever, only mentions of intercourse. This is a one-shot. I will not write sequels or prequels. Use your imagination if you want one. If you want to write something related to this story then inform me. I think I deserve that much.

Characters are OOC I suppose. I wouldn't really know since no one knows how Kakashi would act all in love. I feel strongly that Sakura is somehow in character though.

**Ages during break-up:**

Kakashi-35

Sakura-21

Sasuke-21

**Present time ages:**

Kakashi-37

Sakura-23

Sasuke-23

**IMPLIED SASUSAKU. SASUSAKU HATERS STAY AWAY FROM THIS FIC. CLICK THAT RED X BUTTON ON THE UPPER RIGHT CORNER OR CLOSE THIS TAB.**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any of the Naruto characters. Only the ideas and the plot belong to me.

* * *

**Chapter 1: Second Chances**

**-Kakashi's POV-**

It hurts when you see the person you love in another man's embrace. It hurts even more when you used to be that man.

I was foolish and I lost the only woman I've ever loved because of a meaningless dalliance! A night of pleasure because of an itch I was dying to scratch.

I could never forget the look of horror on her beautiful face in that heartbreaking moment when I was mounted on another woman's body, the way her whole demeanor stiffened in shock when she opened the door to my apartment not expecting a barrel full of hurt and betrayal thrown her way.

Tears running down her face, mouth open in surprise, hands fisted near her heart and the look of utter pain in her eyes.

I had a feeling that right then and there when she bolted out my apartment door that I was never allowed back into her life, never allowed back into her heart.

It's ironic thinking back when she used to say I mended her broken heart but what good did it do if I mended her heart and shattered it once again into pieces?

I tried getting her back. I really did. I tried explaining that I was only scratching an itch and nothing more. I told her repeatedly that I loved her and only her.

She just remained silent while I pleaded with her and then when she did open her mouth to speak I was almost sure that I was forgiven because she always did believe that people deserved second chances and more importantly because she said that she loves me. It was arrogant of me to think that she would take me back because she's simply Sakura, gentle and forgiving Sakura.

She did say something, a lot of things apparently, but they weren't the words I expected to hear. It wasn't an "_I love you Kakashi and I forgive you but you better not do it again or else I'll castrate you_". It was worst and it was so painful to hear.

* * *

**-Flashback-**

"I love you Kakashi, I really do but I just can't love you anymore" Sakura said tearing her gaze from the man's mismatched eyes.

"What do you mean you can't Sakura? Of course you can! Please Sak! Give me another chance! I never intended to hurt you! I just needed release and you weren't there. What else was I supposed to do? I'm a man Sakura so please try and understand. I'll never do it again I swear! Just please, please give me another chance. You always did say people deserved a second chance right? I deserve a second chance Sak. I beg you" Kakashi begged as he tightened his hold on the kunoichi's shoulder almost shaking her in desperation.

A bitter laugh escaped the kunoichi as tears cascaded down her cheeks.

"You don't understand do you Kakashi? You could have held it in. You could've waited for me! It's not because you couldn't fight against the urge so don't go saying it's because you're a man. It's because you decided not to! It's a physical battle and we deal with that every single day! We're ninjas! We were brought up and trained to fight battles Kakashi whether it would be a physical, mental or an emotional one! You have more control than that"

"I know I did wrong Sakura. I love you. Please don't leave me" the silver-headed nin continued to plead.

"I really thought you were the one I'd spend forever with and it hurts so bad that you didn't even try and fight it. I can't even look at you. Even the sound of your voice hurts. You used to be a comforting presence but now I can't even stand to be in the same place as you are without getting hurt" Sakura choked.

Kakashi pulled the kunoichi in a tight embrace. Not willing to let her go, tears running down his unmasked face. Eyes clenching in utter hatred towards himself for failing another important person in his life, for failing the woman he loved.

"Please Sak, one more chance. That's all I'm asking for" He murmured in her ear as he rubbed the female's back in an attempt for comfort as both their frames shook in uncontrollable sobs.

"I'm sorry Kakashi but I can't risk being with you anymore. Some situations just don't deserve second chances and this happens to be one of them"

Sakura pulled back and mustered up all the courage she possessed to gaze up one last time into his eyes, capturing his lips in one kiss full of pain and love.

"I love you and goodbye" She whispered across his lips as he stood still in shock. Watching as she pulled back and tore her gaze away from his eyes, as she turned her back and closed the door, leaving his life and his battered heart.

**-End of flashback-**

* * *

I watched her as she walked down the aisle looking as beautiful as ever. A serene smile fixed on her lips and her eyes twinkling in happiness.

It hurts so much that she isn't smiling for me because that smile used to belong to me, that glitter of happiness used to be for me.

So here I stand in the shadows looking at the only woman I'll ever love as she was about to get married to her first love, the boy who once broke her heart, Uchiha Sasuke.

Ironic how he returned after six months of our separation but it was even more ironic when it was he who mended her broken heart, the heart I once mended and broke all over again.

I can never hate her even if I tried because I finally understood what she meant when she said people deserved second chances. Sasuke deserved that second chance and I didn't because I was given the choice to make my own decision.

I made the wrong one with my own consent and that doesn't entitle me to a second chance because it was for my own selfishness. It wasn't motivated like Sasuke's betrayal. He left Sakura because he needed to take revenge for his family. True, revenge wasn't needed but he was just a confused little boy back then, lost on his grief and pain when his whole clan was murdered. He wasn't able to make the right decision for himself because he was surrounded by utter hatred for the man he once called his brother.

On the other hand, I fooled around with another woman because I was simply having an itch.

She was right. I didn't deserve a second chance but I can't help but want... _need_ a second chance. I needed to be with her.

And as I continue to watch Sakura say her wedding vows I can't help but hate myself even further because if I didn't surrender to lust it would've been me who was up on that aisle with her. It would've been me who kissed her lips as the priest gave his consent to the groom to kiss his wife. It would've been me who would spend an entire lifetime with her and have kids with her, kids who aren't supposed to have black hair and green eyes but silver hair and green eyes.

I lost the woman I love because it was entirely my fault and it hurts so damn much. I would've given up anything to be with her again, to hold her in my embrace, to breathe in her scent after we made love, to grow old with her but I can't because I just lost my happy ending.

I was in a daze and I wasn't aware that the wedding was over and we were already at the wedding reception which was conveniently at the Uchiha Manor's garden.

I was still lurking in the shadows watching her, Uchiha Sakura, as she laughed merrily and gazed lovingly at her husband who was holding her hand throughout the entire time since the beginning of the wedding and who was also gazing at Sakura with unhidden love and contentment.

Funny how he used to be the ice block, never showing his emotions but here he was not minding his own display of affection for the woman he grew to love.

_For the woman we both love._

She never did look at me after she said goodbye. I thought I still had the slightest chance of being forgiven but as I watched both of them leave the gardens towards the master bedroom. I knew it was definitely goodbye. I knew it when she closed that door once more that she shut me out of her life forever.

A bitter laugh escaped my throat as I walked away heading towards the village gates to a mission that would _conveniently_ kill me. I can't live without her. I can't live knowing it was supposed to be me with her if I didn't hurt her.

I'm resigned to my fate and I will welcome death gladly because I can't stand to see her with another man aside from myself.

_I guess I'll see you earlier than expected Obito huh?_

"_I'll love you even in death. I'll love you forever. Goodbye Sakura_"

* * *

_It takes a brave heart to hold on to something,_

_But it takes an even braver one to know when he lost the battle and chooses to let go._

_-Sage Sabotage_

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
_

**Author's Note:**

I hope you like this fic even if it is a bit dark. I wrote some of my beliefs regarding cheating and second chances but don't disrespect them because I'm sure not everyone agrees with me. Don't forget to write a review because it sucks when you see people reading your stories but don't give you (authors collectively) credit. This fic may not be perfect (I don't think anything or anyone is) but it'd be really nice if you learn to appreciate it. I don't even think most people will bother reading this author's note. Most of you will probably ignore this and click the x button or close this tab after you finish reading. So for those who read this god bless you (and America ^^) and thank you very much. Sorry for those who wanted a KakaSaku pairing throughout this fic. I'll write another KakaSaku fic some other time and it won't be a depressing one.

**P.S. Don't bash Sasuke. He's a jerk I know but he's a lovable jerk, for me anyways.**


End file.
